she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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