Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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