Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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