in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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