shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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