So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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