So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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