ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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