Having a random hookup so left but love u
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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