why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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