Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize