I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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