There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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