The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You coming home soon, man?
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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