Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize