Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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