That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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