You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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