if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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