They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's paint friendship bongs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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