toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize