Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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