dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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