He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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