I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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