Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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