I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize