have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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