I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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