maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize