U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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