i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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