i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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