his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize