just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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