I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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