I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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