dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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