I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize