So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize