Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
ok first of all what the fuck
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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