You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize