tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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