it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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