I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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