i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize