why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize