even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize