Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize