his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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